infinity *

cokeflow:

when I was like 6 i was at church with my family and I asked my mom how much longer until it was over and she said 15 minutes so I counted to 60 fifteen times and it still wasn’t over and that’s why I don’t believe in god

(via fatpeoplemakemehappy)

i try not to sound like an asshole but it’s really hard because i am an asshole

(Source: deluminator, via jesuschristvevo)

h0odrich:

It’s mad depressing when u eat the last piece of candy but you didn’t look at the bag and realize it was the last one so you could truly appreciate it for what it was worth

(via cokeanut)

my sexual orientation is straight

up gangster

(Source: esexist, via cokeanut)

homleschapel:

summer is real cute until every fuckin type of insect comes out of the 8th circle of hell

(via berrymelonlove)

theanti90smovement:

*straight white guy voice* how is that offensive?

(via booofyourdreamsgirl)

morristibbs:

IF SOMEONE IS SCARED OF SPIDERS OR BUGS DONT FUCKING PICK ONE UP AND WALK TOWARDS THEM WITH IT YOU ARENT FUCKING FUNNY YOU’RE A GODDAMN ASSHOLE

(via lanaparrillaslipscar)

baby-pigeon-in-the-trench-coat:

spainstateofmind:

thebadwolf:

Fun party trick: put Skittles and M&M’s in the same bowl, wait for someone to grab a handful.

you can go fuck yourself

my mum did this and didnt tell anyone so when my sister put a bunch in her mouth she spat them out and started crying and now she has trust issues 

(via berrymelonlove)

stripforharry:

soolooxcoopter:

obesealpaca:

When an employee at the McDonald’s drive through asks me how I’m doing, I always ask them back, just in case they need someone to talk to because you never know

Those fries could be salted with tears

So you’re the fucker who slows down the drive through

there are two kinds of people

(Source: dogs420, via berrymelonlove)